Thursday, August 11, 2016

My Hope Bracelet

Let me tell you the story of my hope bracelet.

Every couple of weeks I have a couple of days when my anxiety, or my depression, or both, hit hard.  This week it was depression by itself.  I felt like there was a dark black blank wall about 6 inches in front of my face.  Everywhere I went, this wall was between me and the world. The wall was blank, but it spoke to me.  It told me, "Life is pointless." "You're a failure at being a human being." (Stupid depression, that's impossible unless all the DNA in every cell in my body changes at once, and that ain't happening!) "Your husband would be better off without you." "Nothing is worth doing." 

The other night, I was laying in bed feeling this way.  Feeling sad.  When I feel sad, it feels like there is a big, hollow, sore spot in my chest.  Along with that, my left wrist throbs.  All my life I have felt my sadness in my left wrist.  I was laying there thinking all these negative thoughts, and thinking that it makes sense why some people cut their wrists.  Maybe they feel the throbbing too.  Maybe cutting helps.

Then, almost suddenly, I remembered something.  I remembered that Jesus Christ died on the cross so I can have life.  If He did that for me, then my life is worth living, and what's more, I am worth living that life.  I thought, "I need a visible reminder of that."

I have these sparkly purple beads I bought a couple of weeks ago.  I wanted to try crocheting with them, but hadn't thought of what to make yet.  I decided to make myself a cuff bracelet with a beaded cross on it.  Now, whenever I feel sad, I have the visible sign of the cross right there, covering the sad place. 

  My photography skills are not as good as these make them look.  I do know how to use Picasa though. :)

8 comments:

  1. I love this. It's so pretty and the meaning behind it makes it so special.

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  2. That is pretty special. I am so thankful that by God's grace you can keep a good perspective even at your lowest points. God is keeping you close even when it FEELS like He is far. ♡♡♡

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    1. Yes, He certainly is. Thanks for the encouragement. :)

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  3. Wow! What a good idea! Also, thank you for being courageous enough to post about how you are feeling. It really opened my eyes to what you, and others, are going through! ♥

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    1. Awwe thanks! I am glad it helped you in that way. I often feel like everyone feels like I do, I am just the only one wimpy enough to not be able to suck it up and deal with it.

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  4. I'm so proud that you found something tangible to help focus on our precious Savior Jesus Christ. And you made it!!! What a great testimony. Today was a bitter day for me. I wanted to just escape by sleeping the day away. However, my daughter and twin grandsons stayed and stayed. She had no clue how I felt. She had given me a ride to my doctor appointment, hospital follow-up. God blessed me out of my depression. Still felt lethargic. But I listened to my 5 year old grandsons saying things I had taught them about Jesus. My heart was happy and sad simultaneously. My son in law tells them that there is NO GOD. BUT! Someway God has allowed me opportunities to tell them about our Saviour!!!
    Glory to Almighty God!!!
    Then I read this entry. So powerful and so beautiful.Thank you,Justine!!! You are loved and blessed. I feel blessed by your creativity and strength to Honor Jesus during a difficult day. ♡

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    1. Thank you Beverly! I am glad this post was a positive for you. I can relate to the feeling of being happy and sad at the same time. That is so great that you are able to share with your grandsons about Jesus! Even when you are having a difficult time, God is using you in their lives. :)

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