Musings

How do you, in one morning a month, even begin to communicate God's love to a child?  How do you, in a week of VBS, share the good news of Jesus Christ when all He is to them is a swear word?  When you have kids threatening to kill each other or themselves, what do you say?  How do you spend 45 minutes a day teaching math to a child who has been hurt so bad that his mind is blocking memories and doesn't function normally?

I need God's help.  We need God's help.  If we are to reach these little people, it begins with prayer.  Today I don't even have the words to pray.  Today I just beg God to take care of these kids, knowing that He knows what I mean, and that He cares infinitely more than I ever could.

I want to provide a home for these kids.  I want to take them home with me and hug them and feed them, play games with them and tell jokes and tuck them into bed at night.  I want them to feel safe, to be able to act out and get mad and cry so that they can work through their deep down hidden inside traumas.  I want them to learn words for their feelings, for their thoughts, for their needs.  I want them to know with every fibre of their beings that THEY ARE WORTH IT.  They need to know their own value before they can learn the value of love, morality, structure, goals, education, faith.

I do not think I am up to this task.  I am a slow, tired person who can barely take care of this household of two.  We are moving soon, and my husband is going to school.  But I pray that God will use us in a small way wherever we are, and will some day use us in a bigger way for the good of the children.  So let me see the value and personhood of every child and every adult I come across.  Let me treat each human with dignity.